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Just kidding everybuggy, I’m not a communist so I’ll say it the traditional way . . .
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
And yes, my timing’s a little off, but Happy Hanukkah, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, Omisoka, and Saturnalia as well, and of course, let’s not forget the colorful Fiesta of Our Lady of Guadalupe, either.
These holidays, though, they just keep happening don’t they?
And each year, you surely get peppered with obnoxious questions from your kinfolk, like . . .
- “Why aren’t you married?”
- “Bulking this winter, eh?”
- “Trump?”
- “When are you getting a real job?”
- “You seriously aren’t going to eat any meat?”
- “How can you live there?”
The list yammers on.
But hey, things could be worse.
It beats hiding out in the nuclear badlands of the future searching for irradiated crickets to eat as the eyeless cannibal hordes hunt us for our precious meat.
And let’s not forget—half the time the people asking actually just love and miss us and wish we were around more because they know they won’t be around forever.
Mmmmm, sentimental syrup . . .
Anyhoo, I just want to wish you plenty of holiday cheer as we get ready to strap into 2020, which I hope will bring you glorious new personal records inside and outside of the gym.
And to help you get off on the right foot, here’s a quote from a book everyone should read, The Magic of Thinking Big:
Belief, the “I’m-positive-I-can” attitude, generates the power, skill, and energy needed to do. When you believe I-can-do-it, the how-to-do-it develops.
#BigFacts.
For my part, 2019 was yet another banner year for Legion, with highest-ever sales, profits, new customers, and brand awareness.
None of that would’ve been possible without the support of people like you, so, I’ll say again what can never be said enough:
Thank you.
You and me, though, us, we’re just getting started because ho ho ho believe you me, my droogs and I have a whole heaping stack of irons in the firepot, including . . .
- Male and female versions of our multivitamin Triumph, with new-and-improved formulations specifically designed to benefit the unique physiologies of men and women.
- Beautiful new branding for the whole company, including the logo and packaging, and it’s going to look a whole lot more premium and gender-neutral.
- An immunity booster that improves the immune system’s ability to find and eliminate pathogens, impairs the function of harmful bacteria and viruses, and enhances mood and well-being when sick.
- An all-new second edition of my book for intermediate weightlifters, Beyond Bigger Leaner Stronger, that’ll be absolutely best-in-class—the last fitness book most guys will ever need to read, I dare say.
- A sleek and sexy new “2.0” version of my workout app Stacked, which will not only be a quantum leap in terms of design, functionality, and user experience but also 100% free.
- New enhanced formulations for some of our most popular products, including Phoenix, Fortify, Genesis, and Ascend.
- Not one but two gut health products, including a unique non-bacterial formulation with berberine, artichoke, and UDCA (and more), as well as a bacterial (probiotic) product with some of the most researched and effective strains available.
- Legion’s first-ever appearance at the Arnold, and yes, yours grateful will be there in the flesh and pressing the flesh, along with some of our star athletes and ambassadors.
And no, my butterball, that’s not all, either—there’s even more ruckus in the works.
But that’s enough for now because my third cousin or something wants to explain to me why the earth is flat and Greenland doesn’t exist.
Oy vey.
Mike
P.S. Oh and I promised I’d share exactly how much money we raised for Toys for Tots during Charity Week, and I’m thrilled to announce the result:
$1967!
Amazing!
Those funds are going to make a real difference in the lives of underprivileged children and their families, and if you purchased anything in our store during Charity Week, you contributed to that, so THANK YOU!
We’ve already started looking at candidates for the next Charity Week, which will kick off in a few months, so if you have any suggestions, please do share.
Thanks again for helping us make this a success!
Transcript:
Hello and merry non denominational solstice day, my dear listener. Just kidding. I’m not a communist, so I’m going to say it the traditional way. Merry Christmas. And yes, my timing is a little off, but happy Hanukkah, boxing day, Kwanzaa, Amisoka, and Saturnalia as well. And of course, let’s not forget the colorful fiesta of our Lady Guadalupe either.
These holidays though, they just keep happening, don’t they? And each year you surely get peppered with obnoxious questions from your kinfolk, like why aren’t you married? Bulking this winter, huh? Trump, when are you going to get a real job? You seriously aren’t going to eat any meat? How can you live there?
The list yammers on, but hey, things could be worse, right? It beats hiding out in the nuclear badlands of the future, searching for irradiated crickets to eat as the Islas cannibal hoards hunt us for our precious meat. And let’s not forget that half the time the people asking actually just love and miss us and wish we were around more because they know they won’t be around forever.
Sentimental syrup anyw, who? I just want wish you plenty of holiday cheer. As we get ready to strap into 2020, which I hope will bring you glorious new personal records inside and outside of the gym and to help you get off on the right foot. Here’s a quote from a book. Everyone should read The magic of thinking big.
Belief, the I’m positive I can attitude generates the power, skill, and energy needed to do. When you believe I can do it, the how to do it develops. Hashtag big facts. For my part, 2019 was yet another banner year for Legion with highest sales, profits, new customers, and brand awareness. And none of that Would have been possible without the support of people like you.
If you are indeed one of the many people listening who support Legion. I’ll say again what can never be said enough, and that is, thank you. You and me though, us, we are just getting started because ho, believe you, my droogs and I have a whole heaping stack of irons in the fire pot, including male and female versions of our multivitamin triumph with noon improved formulations specifically designed to benefit the unique physiologies of men and women.
Beautiful new branding for the whole company, including our logo and our packaging. And it’s all going to look a whole lot more premium and gender neutral. We have an immunity booster coming that improves the immune system’s ability to find and eliminate pathogens. That impairs the function of harmful bacteria and viruses and that enhances mood and wellbeing when sick.
I have an all new second edition of my book for intermediate weightlifters beyond bigger, leaner, stronger coming. And this book is going to be absolutely best in class. It is going to be the last fitness book that most guys will ever. Need to read. There is a sleek and sexy new 2. 0 version of my workout app stacked on the way right around the corner, actually, which will not only be a quantum leap forward in terms of design functionality and user experience, but it’s also going to be 100 percent free.
Legion has new enhanced and more effective formulations coming for some of its most popular products including Phoenix, the fat burner, Fortify, the joint supplement, Genesis, the greens supplement, and Ascend, the nootropic. Legion also has not one but two Two gut health products coming, which I’m personally excited for, including a unique non bacterial formulation with berberine artichoke and UDCA and more, as well as a bacterial, a probiotic product.
That’s going to have some of the most researched and effective strains available. And Legion is going to make its first ever appearance at the Arnold. And yes, yours grateful will be there in the flesh, pressing the flesh along with some of legions, star athletes and ambassadors. And that list, my dear butter ball is not everything.
There’s even more. ruckus in the works, but I think that’s enough for now because my third cousin or something wants to explain to me why the earth is flat and Greenland doesn’t exist. Oy vey.
