Ep. #846: A Very Uncanny Holiday Message for You

I hope this podcast finds you in a mesmerizing haze of Holly Jolly Hearth and Home. Because here’s the deal with the winter festivities. They were a tough road ahoe in the before times, and are even more so in these quacky quoin times. There’s shopping, wrapping, baking, cooking, decorating, entertaining.

Eating imbibing. Friends you never see. Family you’ve never liked. And a gimlet eyed elf monitoring every minute and reporting every move to a schizoid list, making demigod living on the frozen nipple of the globe with battalions of undying Eldridge noms and bionic beast deer. And now, We have to endure all of that hella horror.

Plus all of the experts ululating about the next covid a’s scar for us to be afraid of. And all of the other pandemonium that comes with being born at the end of the fuck around Century and living through the times of finding out. So maybe this year we can cut each other and ourselves some slack and wait for it, let it go.

Because we’re all having a time of it this year, except for billionaires, they’re just somehow richer. Maybe then we can stop arguing about Covid 1984 Hunter’s Dad and the great E Awakening, and instead simply get good and sick on eggnog and rib roast and candy cookies, and sugar fried reindeer meat.

Maybe just for a fortnight, we can squash all of these suck baggery and just have a Merry Christmas slash whatever you celebrate. Maybe just for gets and shs. And speaking of cookies, my friend, if you want a ripping recipe for getting some psycho delicious treats inside your face meat, check out the.

Best chocolate chip cookie recipe ever. That’s the name of the, the recipe [email protected]. So good. Also, in case you are not much of a baker person, a couple of tips. Make sure you weigh the flour. Make sure you use good chocolate. Make sure you use good brown sugar. And the real game is swapping the brown sugar in the recipe for a one half cup of Muscovado brown sugar upgrade.

And finally, don’t devour the cookies the instant they exit the oven. Let them cool off first. Now, as for me and my darling, band of Legion Bushwhackers, here is a foretaste of our plans for making you feel like the cat that ate the canary in 2022. We have new products and services for U2, Insta Buy, including probiotics, protein bars, protein cookies, single serving.

Tonics and I put that in scare quotes because I’m not sure that’s what they will be called, but more details on that. Soon and more, we have new flavors of existing products for you to take a flyer on, including strawberry margarita, blood orange, and Mojito Pulse, honey cereal, coconut cream, and pumpkin Pie Way.

Grape and strawberry kiwi recharge and more. There will be new loyalty perks for you to rub all over yourself, including more subscribing, save benefits, more rewards programs, Benny’s exclusive deals and discounts and more. There are going to be some new sales channels and some new international shipping options to better separate you from your.

Coinage, and particularly for those of you who are of the British and European persuasion. And finally, there will be a lot of new content for you to graze on, including a new book, muscle for Life, which you can learn about at Muscle for Life book.com, muscle, f o r life book.com, new website tools, new blog articles, new podcasts and more.

And that’s just a, a quick squirt of the love puddle. Of course, many more updates will follow next year. And finally, Just because this can’t be said enough. Bless your slippery snipbits for your support. Really, you are my angel farts. You are my chocolate coins, and you have my undying love as well as my willingness to kill in your name.

Really. That’s how much I appreciate it. So with that, how about we all just get back to enjoying Michael Bule before he’s put back in his cage until next year. Oh, and by the way, more than a few people have said they want to get me a gift for the holidays, which is a very sweet gesture. Unless it’s a male bomb of anthrax.

No, the thought does not count. And to that, I say if you want to get me something, then maybe buy a copy or five of my new book, muscle for Life, which again, you can learn [email protected] or. Leave a review for one of my other books, wherever you buy books online because we authors, we love to sell books, we love to get reviews, and in fact, the very existence of this podcast is because of many kind people doing both of those things.

Remember, all of this started with a book bigger than or Stronger, so either of those things would really get my pleasure, pistons firing this Christmas. Have you pre-ordered your copy of my new book, muscle for Life yet and entered my giveaway of over $12,500 of Splendid Fitness swag? What. Why the devil not?

Do you hate fun? Well, look, if it pleases your grace, go to Muscle for Life book.com, muscle f o r life book.com now, and pre-order a copy of the book and enter the giveaway. Let’s remedy this scandalous state of affairs, and I would counsel haste as well because my big book Launch Bonanza ends in a couple of weeks and then the winners will be, Chosen.

So anyways, let’s shift gears quickly and talk about tracking body weight, which is more fiddly than people realize, because one of the easiest ways to drive yourself to distraction in your fitness journey is to obsess over daily shifts in your weight, which often have nothing to do with gaining or losing fat or muscle.

So for example, even slight swings in fluid retention, glycogen levels, that’s a form of carbohydrate stored in your muscles, primarily in your liver as well. And bowel movements can produce pretty noticeable ups and downs in your body weight. And so a much better way to measure and to track body weight is to look at longer range averages.

Those are less erratic, and those better register the stuff that we actually care about, which is fat and muscle. Now, if over the course of weeks and months the averages are moving down, then you are clearly losing weight. If they’re moving up, you are clearly gaining weight. And so here’s a simple procedure.

Weigh yourself every one to three days, first thing in the morning, naked after the bathroom, and before eating or drinking anything, and then record those numbers. Some are accessible like an Excel file or a Google Sheet, or. A Notepad app in your phone. And if you want to take it even further, some people like to graph the numbers in a spreadsheet, and then every couple of weeks, every 10 to 14 days, add your weigh-ins together and then divide the sum by the number of weigh-ins to get your average daily weight for that period, and then record that as well.

And so here’s how this might look for somebody who’s cutting, let’s say on Monday, they weigh 163 pounds on Thursday, 164 on Sunday, one 60. Two on Wednesday, 1 61 on Saturday, 1 61 on Tuesday, one 60. So the average daily weight is 162 pounds. We add up all of those weigh-ins, 808 pounds. We divide by six, the number of weigh-ins for 1 62, and then repeat that process.

And let’s say the average is 1 61, great. If they’re cutting, that is a good sign. If it is 1 63, that is. Not necessarily a bad sign. It depends what is happening in the mirror, what is happening with their body composition. But if after several rounds of six weigh-ins, the weight is going up and the waist is getting bigger, for example, body composition is not getting leaner in the mirror.

Then that just means they have to make some adjustments. So that’s a simple process. It’s a clean process. And if you want more of my wisdom on how to measure and how to improve your body composition, pick up a copy of my new book, muscle for Life Today. Go over to Muscle for Life book. Dot com and pre-order your copy.

It comes out on January 11th, and then enter the giveaway instructions are on the page and you can win all kinds of glorious fitness goodies. Again, I’m giving away over $12,500 of stuff, so go check it out, muscle life book.com. Well, I hope you liked this episode. I hope you found it helpful, and if you did subscribe to the show because it makes sure that you don’t miss new episodes.

And it also helps me because it increases the rankings of the show a little bit, which of course then makes it a little bit more easily found by other people who may like it just as much as you. And if you didn’t like something about this episode or about the show in general, or if you have. Uh, ideas or suggestions or just feedback to share.

Shoot me an email, mike muscle for life.com, muscle f o r life.com and let me know what I could do better or just, uh, what your thoughts are about maybe what you’d like to see me do in the future. I read everything myself. I’m always looking for new ideas and constructive feedback. So thanks again for listening to this episode, and I hope to hear from you soon.