Want to listen to more stuff like this? Check out my podcast!
I will not train until my gym removes Madonna from their Spotify playlist. I listen to my iPod when I train but do have to take my earbuds out at times, and when I do, there’s at least a 50% chance I’ll have to listen to Madonna squawking about penises or lesbians. My workout just goes downhill from there.
I will not train unless I have wall-to-ceiling mirrors on three–and only–three sides of me. I’m not picky but the mirrors must be quite wide and large and the lighting must make me look better than I do. Poor lighting a complete deal breaker for me.
There must be the right people in the gym. I don’t want anyone to look significantly better than me because that makes me uncomfortable, and I don’t want anyone too out of shape either because that’s demotivating. On a scale of 1 to 10, the average attractiveness of my fellow gymgoers should be as close to 6 as possible. Anything below a 5 and over a 7 is completely unacceptable.
I must have the right pair of weightlifting shoes. They must not be too tight on the sides because this chafes my feet, which is a real pet peeve of mine. They can’t be too loose either, though, because then my feet slide around and I can’t maintain proper balance. I can’t stress enough the need for a perfect fit.
My pre- and post-workout shakes are of the utmost importance. They must be consumed exactly fifteen minutes before and after training, respectively, and must contain proper amounts of protein and carbohydrate and absolutely no dietary fat. I’m not sure what proper amounts are just yet, which I should probably figure out before I start training. All I know is if I don’t drink my pre-workout shake on time, I feel lethargic in my workouts. If I’m late with my post-workout shake, I build absolutely no muscle and have wasted my time.
It must be early in the morning, but not dark. I must have slept at least eight hours and shaved and showered the night before, and prefer to not have to do my hair before leaving because it just gets messed up again. I must be fed but not too full because that makes me feel bloated.
My music playlist must be encouraging and energizing but not over-stimulating because then I get anxious, which throws off my rhythm and tempo and makes it impossible to focus on my lifts.
If I have to empty my bowels while training, I simply have to go home. Only a savage uses the gym stalls.
The squat racks must be in the northeastern corner of the gym, facing west. Don’t ask me why but I always have my best squat sessions with them oriented in this way and if I don’t have a good squat workout, my entire week is ruined.
I must be given at least one compliment but no more than three because that makes me self-conscious. There must be no waiting for equipment. Life is too short to wait for a bench press.
A friend once told me that Abraham Lincoln said you should sharpen your ax for days before trying to fell a tree. I don’t know anything about Lincoln or woodcutting but training is the same way.
As cultivating the conditions for training is difficult, I’ve only trained three times in the last month. People less exacting than me have suggested I relax my standards and train under sub-optimal conditions, but I quickly dismiss such nonsense. Those three times I did train were some the best workouts I’ve ever had and they produced dramatic improvements in my physique. I believe in working smarter, not harder.
What are your favorite excuses people have for not training? Have anything else to share? Let me know in the comments below!
Legion Featured Author
Mike Matthews
Mike Matthews is the founder of Legion as well as the author of several award-winning fitness books, including Bigger Leaner Stronger, Muscle for Life, and The Shredded Chef.
His simple and science-based approach to building muscle, losing fat, and getting healthy has sold over a million books and helped thousands of people build their best bodies ever, and his work has been featured in many popular outlets including Esquire, Men’s Health, Elle, Women’s Health, Muscle & Strength, and more, as well as on FOX and ABC.
If you don’t like something of ours, guess what happens next?
No, we don’t request you deliver it to a PO box in the Gobi Desert by carrier pigeon. Nor do we ask you to fill a cursed inkwell with orc’s blood and demon saliva and then use it to complete reams of return forms written in ancient Cyrillic script.
We just . . . wait for it . . . give you your money back. Holy moo cows. And that means you can say "yes" now and decide later.
Free Worldwide Shipping & Returns
Many companies use shipping and handling fees to increase their profit margins, but here at Legion, we hate profits, so our shipping is free!
Okay, so we do dig on profits, but we also go in for happy customers, and free shipping works like gangbusters. So, if you live in the United States, your order ships free regardless of order size, if you live in the UK or Canada, your order ships free when it’s over $99, and if you live elsewhere, your order ships free when it’s over $199.
Also, if you don’t absolutely love our stuff for whatever reason, we don’t request you deliver it to a PO box in the Gobi Desert by carrier pigeon.
We just . . . wait for it . . . give you your money back. No returns. No forms. No nonsense. Holy moo cows.
That means you can say “yes” now and decide later. You really have nothing to lose.
Free Worldwide Shipping & Returns
Many companies use shipping and handling fees to increase their profit margins, but here at Legion, we hate profits, so our shipping is free!
Okay, so we do dig on profits, but we also go in for happy customers, and free shipping works like gangbusters. So, if you live in the UK or Canada, your order ships free when it’s over $99.
Why the restriction on international orders? Unfortunately, shipping abroad is very expensive, and if we didn’t require a minimum order size, we’d lose a lot of money. But! We're also hustling to improve our international logistics and will be passing our savings along to our international customers.
Also, if you don’t absolutely love our stuff for whatever reason, we don’t request you deliver it to a PO box in the Gobi Desert by carrier pigeon.
We just . . . wait for it . . . give you your money back. No returns. No forms. No nonsense. Holy moo cows.
That means you can say “yes” now and decide later. You really have nothing to lose.
Free Worldwide Shipping & Returns
Many companies use shipping and handling fees to increase their profit margins, but here at Legion, we hate profits, so our shipping is free!
Okay, so we do dig on profits, but we also go in for happy customers, and free shipping works like gangbusters. So, if you’re outside the USA, your order ships free when it’s over $199.
Why the restriction on international orders? Unfortunately, shipping abroad is very expensive, and if we didn’t require a minimum order size, we’d lose a lot of money. But! We're also hustling to improve our international logistics and will be passing our savings along to our international customers.
Also, if you don’t absolutely love our stuff for whatever reason, we don’t request you deliver it to a PO box in the Gobi Desert by carrier pigeon.
We just . . . wait for it . . . give you your money back. No returns. No forms. No nonsense. Holy moo cows.
That means you can say “yes” now and decide later. You really have nothing to lose.
Clinically Effective Ingredients & Doses
Many ingredients in supplements don’t have any scientifically validated benefits, and many ingredients that do are often underdosed to the point of irrelevance.
That’s why we only use the choice ingredients and precise doses shown to be effective in peer-reviewed scientific studies.
Clinically Effective Doses
You need more than great ingredients to make great products—you also need proper doses. That’s why we use the precise doses of ingredients shown to be effective in peer-reviewed scientific studies.
100% Natural Ingredients
“Natural” doesn’t always mean “better,” but in many cases, natural ingredients are superior to artificial ones for various reasons, including purity, safety, and efficacy.
That’s why all of our ingredients in all of our products come from plant and animal sources, including sweeteners, colors, and flavors.
Made in USA
If you want to ensure the supplements you’re swallowing every day are safe and effective, you want products produced in the USA.
That’s why all of our supplements are made in America in NSF-certified and FDA-inspected facilities that operate in accordance with the Current Good Manufacturing Practice (cGMP) regulations.
Lab Tested
Did you know that supplements can contain dangerously high levels of toxins like lead, arsenic, and cadmium?
That’s why we test every ingredient of every supplement we produce for heavy metals, microbes, allergens, and other contaminants and ensure they meet the strict purity standards set by the FDA.
Naturally Sweetened & Flavored
While artificial sweeteners may not be as dangerous as some people claim, studies suggest that regular consumption of these chemicals may indeed be harmful to our health.
That’s why all of our supplements are naturally sweetened and flavored and contain no artificial food dyes, fillers, or other unnecessary junk.
Science-Backed Ingredients
Many ingredients in supplements don’t have any scientifically validated benefits. That’s why we only use choice ingredients shown to be effective in peer-reviewed scientific studies.
No Chemical Junk
“Natural” doesn’t always mean “better,” but in many cases, natural ingredients are superior to artificial ones for various reasons, including purity, safety, and efficacy.
That’s why all of our ingredients in all of our products come from plant and animal sources, including sweeteners, colors, and flavors.
Wait! Want to save 20% on your order of Legion supplements?
Use code LEGION10 at checkout!
No thanks, I don't want to save on my order.
Buy now, pay later.
Split your entire online purchase into 4 interest-free payments, over 6 weeks with no impact to your credit.
25% today
25% 2 weeks
25% 4 weeks
25% 6 weeks
Here's how to Sezzle
Shop
Shop and add items to your cart as normal!
Checkout
Choose Sezzle at Checkout! You’ll be redirected to Sezzle to Sign Up or Log In
to complete your order.
Sezzle it
Your order will be shipped out right away* and your payments will be split up
over 6 weeks.
*shipping times subject to merchant shipping policy
Download the App
Shop directory. Reschedule payments. Plus more!
Waiver and Release of Liability
In consideration of the services and/or products offered by Legion Athletics, Inc. (“Legion”) including, but not limited to, nutrition plans, exercise routines and coaching, and in addition to the payment of any fee or charge:
I knowingly and voluntarily enter into this waiver and release of liability and hereby waive any and all rights, claims or causes of action of any kind whatsoever arising out of my use of Legion’s services and/or products, and I hereby release and hold harmless Legion and its consultants, officers, contractors, agents, owners and employees from any and all responsibility, liability, cost and expenses, including for injuries, damages or disorders (physical, metabolic, or otherwise), resulting from my use of Legion’s services and/or products.
I understand that fitness activities including, but not limited to, strength, flexibility, and cardiovascular exercise, with or without the use of equipment, are potentially hazardous activities that involve a risk of injury and even death, and I am voluntarily participating in these activities and using equipment and machinery with knowledge of the risks involved. I hereby agree to assume and accept any and all risks of injury or death related to said fitness activities.
I understand Legion’s services and products are not meant to treat or manage any health conditions or circumstances, and I acknowledge that Legion has recommended I obtain a healthcare provider’s approval for my use of Legion’s services and/or products, through regular physical examination(s) and/or consultation. I acknowledge that I have obtained my healthcare provider’s approval or have decided to use Legion’s services and/or products without such approval and hereby assume all responsibility for my use of said services and/or products.
I understand that results from using Legion’s products and/or services are not guaranteed, and I agree to not hold Legion liable for any outcomes or lack thereof.
OUT OF STOCK
Great! You're subscribed!
Looks like you're already subscribed!
Security Check
Please click the checkbox below. We apologize for the inconvenience.
This is the content
Some popular pre-workouts are all-natural. Some contain the right mix of high-quality ingredients. Some provide clinically effective doses. But only Pulse checks each of these boxes.
Pulse doesn’t just “contain natural ingredients''—every ingredient is naturally sourced from plants and animals. Pulse contains no artificial or synthetic substances of any kind.
Every serving of Pulse contains 15.1 grams of active ingredients that have been shown to be safe and effective in peer-reviewed scientific research.
Every active ingredient in Pulse is backed by published scientific studies that show benefits in healthy humans.
Pulse contains no harsh stimulants that wind you up and burn you out. Instead, it contains a 1:1 ratio of caffeine and L-theanine, which produces a smooth energy rush and comfortable comedown.
We carefully examined 508 pages of scientific research to find out exactly what should and shouldn’t be in a pre-workout drink.
Every bottle of Pulse is guaranteed to provide exactly what the label claims and nothing else—no heavy metals, microbes, allergens, or other contaminants.
While these types of chemicals may not be as dangerous as some people claim, studies suggest that regular consumption of them may indeed be harmful to our health. And that’s why we don’t put any of them into our products.
Before you buy a sports supplement, you should know that it's clean, safe, and transparent. And that's exactly what Labdoor's third-party testing and certification means.
It's hard to know for sure, but this probably makes Pulse the most-popular all-natural pre-workout supplement in the world.
If you don’t absolutely love this product, just let us know, and we’ll give you a full refund on the spot. No forms or return necessary.
Analyzed for purity and potency in a state-of-the-art ISO 17025 accredited lab by Labdoor™, the gold standard of third-party lab testing.
Analyzed for purity and potency in a state-of-the-art ISO 17025 accredited lab, the gold standard of third-party lab testing.
This product doesn’t just “contain natural ingredients’’—every ingredient is naturally sourced from plants and animals. This product contains no artificial or synthetic substances of any kind.
Fact Checked
Our scientific review board of nutritionists, dietitians, molecular biologists, doctors, and other accredited experts is responsible for reviewing every article, podcast, and video we produce to ensure they’re evidence based, accurate, trustworthy, and current.
Thanks to their connections, credentials, and academic experience, this team of MDs, PhDs, and other professionals has access to a wealth of research published in the largest and most prestigious journals in the world.
This allows them to not only review individual studies but also analyze the overall weight of the evidence on any and all topics related to diet, exercise, supplementation, and more.
If you feel that any of our content is inaccurate, misleading, out-of-date, or anything less than factual, please let us know in the comments section of the article in question.
Evidence Based
We follow a detailed, rigorous, multi-step process to create content that meets the highest standards of clarity, practicality, and scientific integrity.
First, our research associates provide our editorial team with accurate, up-to-date, proven scientific evidence.
Then, our editorial team uses this research to draft articles and outlines for podcasts and videos.
Finally, our scientific review board reviews the content to ensure all key information and claims are backed by high-quality scientific research and explained simply and precisely.
If you feel that any of our content is inaccurate, misleading, out-of-date, or anything less than factual, please let us know in the comments section of the article in question.
