Golly gee willikers, 2020, you’re proving a rather harsh mistress, and nobody seems to know your safe word.⁣

Tamagotchi?⁣

Nickelback?⁣

Antidisestablishmentarianism?⁣

*sigh*⁣

Okay so I’m going to be indelicate here:⁣

This fucking sucks.⁣

The Current Situation is yet more evidence of the degradation and injustice of our times, where viciousness and villainy appear victorious at every turn and charity and civility are circling the drain.⁣

And I’m going to be honest—I don’t know what the solution is. ⁣

It’s certainly not virtue signaling, though, so I’ll leave that to the hordes of hectoring hypocrites who gladly posture on social media about Important Issues™ but give precisely none of their time or money to the causes they publicly champion.⁣

(Spoiler alert: they don’t actually care.)⁣

What I do know, however, is that Martin Luther King Jr. was correct when he said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”⁣

And so I reject any and all forms of hate, bigotry, and inequity, and strive to understand and uplift my fellows despite all reasons and invitations to do otherwise.⁣

Ultimately, we’re all in this cauldron together and subjected to its cruel pressures, and I believe the greatest lesson we can learn is to love.

Anyhow, sermons aside, how about a quick hose down of some crass Legian commercialism? Let me load my potato gun with some Nickelodeons slime. All right, there we go. Fire in the hole. 

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