I hope you and yours are relishing many moments of joyous merriment, reveling in all of their pine-scented butter-lubed and tinsel-laden glory. In this podcast, I’m wishing you a merry Christmas and happy holidays, and laying out all of the wondrous gifts I’m planning to bring next year. So, press play to hear about new flavors of Pulse, Recharge, Whey+, and more, new tools on my blog, new podcasts, new books, and more!
And also because this really cannot be said enough, thank you. Bless your cotton socks for your support this year.
Oh and don’t count calories today. Not on Christmas. Feast, drink, and hug your loved ones.
Timestamps:
0:00 – A holiday message
4:16 – Please leave a review of the show wherever you listen to podcasts and make sure to subscribe!
Mentioned on the show:
Please leave a review of the show wherever you listen to podcasts and make sure to subscribe!
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Transcript:
Hello, friend, and it is that time again. It’s time to transform Herth and home into a hellscape of landfill bound fripperies. It’s time to trade the quinoa, salads and avocado ice cream for mom’s deep fried mac and cheese balls stuffed with pizza rolls stuffed with a molten core of sugar soaked gummy worms.
Hmm, and perhaps most important. This is a time to offer Moonlet sacrifices of cured Grinch hides and spiced elf organs to the dimension hopping anti-d Luv demigod Santa Clause in his battalion of bionic beast. Dear Creatures, forged in the third epic of pre-history to do battle with the dead eyed Demonn, prince Krampus for the command of the multiverse.
Okay, I think that is getting to be pretty irrelevant. So moving on, what I really wanted to say, Is Merry Christmas and happy holidays. I hope you and yours are relishing many moments of joyous Mary Minton reveling in all of their pine scented butter lubed and tinsel laden glory, and what will next year bring?
Will the, I’m not a crook, I’m just an idiot. Defense, exonerates, scam. Bank run fraud and his owl faced polyamorous collaborator will the two weeks of transitory and mostly peaceful inflation. Finally. End or will we find ourselves spearing mutated acid hogs in the blasted ruins of toad suck Arkansas. Who could know?
Who can know? At any rate, my merry band of Micin men and women have laid wonderous plans for 2023 that will get you purring like a dog that ate a happy cat, including new and upgraded legion products. Insta by including an energy drink, protein cookie, pulse and recharge improvements, new ingredients are coming, apparel and more new flavors of existing Legion products to take a flyer on, including Rainbow Sherbet and Pina Colada.
Pulse Apple pie, coconut cream and frosted cereal, whey Plus Sour candy and Arctic Blast recharge, and more new sales channels and international shipping options for Legion with which I can better separate you from your coinage, including Amazon uk. That’s gonna be big for everyone in the. And in Europe, walmart.com and target.com.
And finally, lots of new content for you to graze on, including fourth editions of my books, bigger, leaner, stronger, and thinner. Leaner, stronger. New website tools over at Legion Athletics dot. Com blog articles, many, many blog articles planned for next year [email protected] as well. Many podcasts planned here on the most life podcast and more, and that’s really just the quick hose down.
Many more details to follow over at Legion Athletics dot. Com. That’s my primary online hub. Get on our email list if you want to know when all of these things and all of the other things that I have not told you about are dropping as the cool kids say, and also because this really cannot be said enough.
Thank you. Bless your. Cotton socks for your support. Really, if this were another era, I would build a temple to your glory. I would tear out my eyes with a ceremonial spoon and become your oracle prophecy, the doom of all who oppose you and sing hymns about your nascent godhood with my tongue mouth. Alas, this is the current year and all I can offer instead is my eternal gratitude.
Yes, my eternal. Gratitude as in my spectral service across the infinity of space and time. So I hope that’s enough, at least, to tickle the reptilian pleasure centers of your brain. And there’s one more thing actually, for the sake of Santa’s sacred nipples, don’t count calories today. Not on Christmas feast.
Drink hug your loved ones, Hakuna Mat. Well, I hope you liked this episode. I hope you found it helpful, and if you did subscribe to the show because it makes sure that you don’t miss new episodes. And it also helps me because it increases the rankings of the show a little bit, which of course then makes it a little bit more easily found by other people.
Who may like it just as much as you. And if you didn’t like something about this episode or about the show in general, or if you have, uh, ideas or suggestions or just feedback to share, shoot me an email, mike muscle for life.com, muscle f o r life.com and let me know what I could do better or just, uh, what your thoughts are about maybe what you’d like to see me do in the future.
I read everything myself. I’m always looking for new ideas and. Feedback. So thanks again for listening to this episode, and I hope to hear from you soon.
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Legion Featured Author
Mike Matthews
Mike Matthews is the founder of Legion as well as the author of several award-winning fitness books, including Bigger Leaner Stronger, Muscle for Life, and The Shredded Chef.
His simple and science-based approach to building muscle, losing fat, and getting healthy has sold over a million books and helped thousands of people build their best bodies ever, and his work has been featured in many popular outlets including Esquire, Men’s Health, Elle, Women’s Health, Muscle & Strength, and more, as well as on FOX and ABC.
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We just . . . wait for it . . . give you your money back. Holy moo cows. And that means you can say "yes" now and decide later.
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Okay, so we do dig on profits, but we also go in for happy customers, and free shipping works like gangbusters. So, if you live in the United States, your order ships free regardless of order size, if you live in the UK or Canada, your order ships free when it’s over $99, and if you live elsewhere, your order ships free when it’s over $199.
Also, if you don’t absolutely love our stuff for whatever reason, we don’t request you deliver it to a PO box in the Gobi Desert by carrier pigeon.
We just . . . wait for it . . . give you your money back. No returns. No forms. No nonsense. Holy moo cows.
That means you can say “yes” now and decide later. You really have nothing to lose.
Free Worldwide Shipping & Returns
Many companies use shipping and handling fees to increase their profit margins, but here at Legion, we hate profits, so our shipping is free!
Okay, so we do dig on profits, but we also go in for happy customers, and free shipping works like gangbusters. So, if you live in the UK or Canada, your order ships free when it’s over $99.
Why the restriction on international orders? Unfortunately, shipping abroad is very expensive, and if we didn’t require a minimum order size, we’d lose a lot of money. But! We're also hustling to improve our international logistics and will be passing our savings along to our international customers.
Also, if you don’t absolutely love our stuff for whatever reason, we don’t request you deliver it to a PO box in the Gobi Desert by carrier pigeon.
We just . . . wait for it . . . give you your money back. No returns. No forms. No nonsense. Holy moo cows.
That means you can say “yes” now and decide later. You really have nothing to lose.
Free Worldwide Shipping & Returns
Many companies use shipping and handling fees to increase their profit margins, but here at Legion, we hate profits, so our shipping is free!
Okay, so we do dig on profits, but we also go in for happy customers, and free shipping works like gangbusters. So, if you’re outside the USA, your order ships free when it’s over $199.
Why the restriction on international orders? Unfortunately, shipping abroad is very expensive, and if we didn’t require a minimum order size, we’d lose a lot of money. But! We're also hustling to improve our international logistics and will be passing our savings along to our international customers.
Also, if you don’t absolutely love our stuff for whatever reason, we don’t request you deliver it to a PO box in the Gobi Desert by carrier pigeon.
We just . . . wait for it . . . give you your money back. No returns. No forms. No nonsense. Holy moo cows.
That means you can say “yes” now and decide later. You really have nothing to lose.
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Many ingredients in supplements don’t have any scientifically validated benefits, and many ingredients that do are often underdosed to the point of irrelevance.
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You need more than great ingredients to make great products—you also need proper doses. That’s why we use the precise doses of ingredients shown to be effective in peer-reviewed scientific studies.
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That’s why all of our ingredients in all of our products come from plant and animal sources, including sweeteners, colors, and flavors.
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That’s why all of our supplements are made in America in NSF-certified and FDA-inspected facilities that operate in accordance with the Current Good Manufacturing Practice (cGMP) regulations.
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That’s why we test every ingredient of every supplement we produce for heavy metals, microbes, allergens, and other contaminants and ensure they meet the strict purity standards set by the FDA.
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While artificial sweeteners may not be as dangerous as some people claim, studies suggest that regular consumption of these chemicals may indeed be harmful to our health.
That’s why all of our supplements are naturally sweetened and flavored and contain no artificial food dyes, fillers, or other unnecessary junk.
Science-Backed Ingredients
Many ingredients in supplements don’t have any scientifically validated benefits. That’s why we only use choice ingredients shown to be effective in peer-reviewed scientific studies.
No Chemical Junk
“Natural” doesn’t always mean “better,” but in many cases, natural ingredients are superior to artificial ones for various reasons, including purity, safety, and efficacy.
That’s why all of our ingredients in all of our products come from plant and animal sources, including sweeteners, colors, and flavors.
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In consideration of the services and/or products offered by Legion Athletics, Inc. (“Legion”) including, but not limited to, nutrition plans, exercise routines and coaching, and in addition to the payment of any fee or charge:
I knowingly and voluntarily enter into this waiver and release of liability and hereby waive any and all rights, claims or causes of action of any kind whatsoever arising out of my use of Legion’s services and/or products, and I hereby release and hold harmless Legion and its consultants, officers, contractors, agents, owners and employees from any and all responsibility, liability, cost and expenses, including for injuries, damages or disorders (physical, metabolic, or otherwise), resulting from my use of Legion’s services and/or products.
I understand that fitness activities including, but not limited to, strength, flexibility, and cardiovascular exercise, with or without the use of equipment, are potentially hazardous activities that involve a risk of injury and even death, and I am voluntarily participating in these activities and using equipment and machinery with knowledge of the risks involved. I hereby agree to assume and accept any and all risks of injury or death related to said fitness activities.
I understand Legion’s services and products are not meant to treat or manage any health conditions or circumstances, and I acknowledge that Legion has recommended I obtain a healthcare provider’s approval for my use of Legion’s services and/or products, through regular physical examination(s) and/or consultation. I acknowledge that I have obtained my healthcare provider’s approval or have decided to use Legion’s services and/or products without such approval and hereby assume all responsibility for my use of said services and/or products.
I understand that results from using Legion’s products and/or services are not guaranteed, and I agree to not hold Legion liable for any outcomes or lack thereof.
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Analyzed for purity and potency in a state-of-the-art ISO 17025 accredited lab by Labdoor™, the gold standard of third-party lab testing.
Analyzed for purity and potency in a state-of-the-art ISO 17025 accredited lab, the gold standard of third-party lab testing.
This product doesn’t just “contain natural ingredients”—every ingredient is naturally sourced from plants and animals. This product contains no artificial or synthetic sweeteners or flavors of any kind.
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