How Joe Used Bigger Leaner Stronger to Lose 35 Pounds and 16% Body Fat

If you don’t like something of ours, guess what happens next?

No, we don’t request you deliver it to a PO box in the Gobi Desert by carrier pigeon. Nor do we ask you to fill a cursed inkwell with orc’s blood and demon saliva and then use it to complete reams of return forms written in ancient Cyrillic script.

We just . . . wait for it . . . give you every penny of your money back. Holy moo cows. And that means you can say "yes" now and decide later.

Why the $80 minimum purchase amount for free shipping?

To quench our piggish lust for grubby profits in the eternal service of the dread lord Mammon?

Kind of. But not really. Because here's the truth:

Single-item orders are so blasted expensive to ship that we make very little profit on them. And no profits make the bean counters lose their marbles.

But when you order just one more item, it only costs us a few dollars more to ship both of them to you. Add a third item, and it's just a few more shekels to ship.

And that allows us to make a profit. Which keeps the bean counters happier than a hammer in a nail factory.

So, if it pleases your Grace, we humbly request your mercy and patronage notwithstanding the vexing free shipping minimum.

Why the $199 minimum purchase amount for free shipping?

To quench our piggish lust for grubby profits in the eternal service of the dread lord Mammon?

Kind of. But not really. Because here's the truth:

Single-item orders are so blasted expensive to ship that we make very little profit on them. And no profits make the bean counters lose their marbles.

But when you order just one more item, it only costs us a few dollars more to ship both of them to you. Add a third item, and it's just a few more shekels to ship.

And that allows us to make a profit. Which keeps the bean counters happier than a hammer in a nail factory.

So, if it pleases your Grace, we humbly request your mercy and patronage notwithstanding the vexing free shipping minimum.

Why the $299 minimum purchase amount for free shipping?

To quench our piggish lust for grubby profits in the eternal service of the dread lord Mammon?

Kind of. But not really. Because here's the truth:

Single-item orders are so blasted expensive to ship that we make very little profit on them. And no profits make the bean counters lose their marbles.

But when you order just one more item, it only costs us a few dollars more to ship both of them to you. Add a third item, and it's just a few more shekels to ship.

And that allows us to make a profit. Which keeps the bean counters happier than a hammer in a nail factory.

So, if it pleases your Grace, we humbly request your mercy and patronage notwithstanding the vexing free shipping minimum.

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In consideration of the services and/or products offered by Legion Athletics, Inc. (“Legion”) including, but not limited to, nutrition plans, exercise routines and coaching, and in addition to the payment of any fee or charge:

I knowingly and voluntarily enter into this waiver and release of liability and hereby waive any and all rights, claims or causes of action of any kind whatsoever arising out of my use of Legion’s services and/or products, and I hereby release and hold harmless Legion and its consultants, officers, contractors, agents, owners and employees from any and all responsibility, liability, cost and expenses, including for injuries, damages or disorders (physical, metabolic, or otherwise), resulting from my use of Legion’s services and/or products.

I understand that fitness activities including, but not limited to, strength, flexibility, and cardiovascular exercise, with or without the use of equipment, are potentially hazardous activities that involve a risk of injury and even death, and I am voluntarily participating in these activities and using equipment and machinery with knowledge of the risks involved. I hereby agree to assume and accept any and all risks of injury or death related to said fitness activities.

I understand Legion’s services and products are not meant to treat or manage any health conditions or circumstances, and I acknowledge that Legion has recommended I obtain a healthcare provider’s approval for my use of Legion’s services and/or products, through regular physical examination(s) and/or consultation. I acknowledge that I have obtained my healthcare provider’s approval or have decided to use Legion’s services and/or products without such approval and hereby assume all responsibility for my use of said services and/or products.

I understand that results from using Legion’s products and/or services are not guaranteed, and I agree to not hold Legion liable for any outcomes or lack thereof.

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